Internet Infidels Discussion Board
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Contents |
In the Beginning
Once upon a time, there was a board. This board was a peaceful, verdant land of philosophical wankery and Creationist pwnage. The Proud Citizens of this board were ruled by a Secret Cabal of people whom the citizens didn't really give a shit about, owing to their never really appearing or taking part in the day-to-day affairs of the lesser mortals. This Cabal answered directly to God (May He Be Classically Educated), who tended to take a pretty hands-off approach. Nevertheless, rule was strict and /b/tards were quickly and efficiently put down by the lieutenants.
Such was the love of the people for their board that many undesirables and riff-raff attempted to return to their beloved land over and over. Fortunately, the average member of this illustrious group found it difficult to contain their inner fucktard, hence the repeated exile.
Much to the major annoyance of the Proud Citizens, civility was enforced to the point where it was forbidden to call someone a troll. The slightest insult or malign comment was edited and people were expected to be intimately aware of what they wrote, lest they feel the mighty hand of God's (May He Be Classically Educated) lieutenants. It was this censure that drove away a good number of Proud Citizens before The Schism even came to pass.
Furthermore, distressed Proud Citizens became concerned when Heathens were allowed among the ranks of the lieutenants, causing concern that the Heathen beliefs may colour their moderation actions. This was a continuous source of strife amongs certain members and was also among the issues that caused friction between ELGS and the Secret Cabal.
The Great Schism
Then God (May He Be Classically Educated) came down from On High to smite EverLastingGodStopper for reason known purely to Him. When the Proud Citizens protested, He rallied his many lieutenants and squashed dissent, heresy and blasphemy. The hordes of Gibbering Jackanapes attempted in vain to reason with His lieutenants. God was not one to explain His divine intentions.
For many days and nights, God was deaf to the cries of His subjects. Amidst the wailing and gnashing of teeth, a movement was born, demanding God step down from on High and grant Divinity and Authority to someone more competent and knowledgable, like Ron Paul. See Also:
The Holy Supper
Surprising everyone, perhaps even God Himself, God chose a mere mortal to bear the burden of His Words, His Divine Repast, His Holy Supper. This mere mortal came to be the Prophet David B, whom God called "Doug," and was provided with the details of this Holy Supper, which consisted of a corn-meal crust "qauttro [sic] formaggi" pizza and added bacon, Kalamata olives and fresh halved black Mission figs plus a cabernet (but only one).
Angry at their God's abandonment, thus began the Exodus of many citizens. Alas, the journey was long and hard and many perished. Many of the less fortunate refugees stumbled upon the dank and desolate land of RnR, where they were sodomised and - even worse - verbally assaulted by the aboriginal denizens.
Despite the general dickery, the refugees came to know (not in the Biblical sense) and love their new home, even if they needed to pick the bits of shit off their clothes it left every once in a while.
New Events
The Other Michael has overtaken Spenser as the internet's foremost ass to mouth proponent.
A New Name, but the Same Old Management
On October 18, 2008, the Internet Infidels Board of Directors transferred ownership of IIDB to Alcyonian and NinJay, who plan to rename it the Freethought and Rationalism Discussion Board, and to give it a new Internet address: Free Ratio. That domain is owned by none other than Alcyonian herself.
Instead of IIDB/FRDB, the II BoD will be running a much smaller set of forums, the Secular Web Discussion Forums, featuring feedback on their site's content and NewsWire, formal debates, and proposals for such debates.
